Victoria. S

Ask away :)

2011-06-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

The Magic Happened

2011-02-17T02:46:00.000-08:00

There is this quiet, honey-soothing spot that awakens in my chest when I write. With school keeping me busy, I haven't had as much time as I'd like to write. I had felt a constant sheet of rain over my heart but, just the other night, the magic happened.

The second my fingers touched the keyboard his voice caused a light to flicker within me. It was like rhythmic drums in the air. My MC's voice—Drake—whispered as my fingers danced out his story. I shut my eyes and allowed myself to escape and transport to a world I had missed, but not forgotten.

Desperation rose from a heated ground of forbidden desire. The familiar scent of vanilla still perfumed the house. The shadows forever lurked in every corner. The grass still damp beneath me as I watched a night sky masked in light gray clouds.

And then, like a shadow unveiling the light, I saw Drake—his pale silver eyes looked at me and he nudged his head for me to follow him.

I took the first step without even thinking, trusting him. He led me deep into his mind, his emotions spiraled inside of me and I listened to his voice, a deep timbre. The branches above our heads were dipped in the moon's light, making the leaves glow. The road ahead of us dark, but not impossible to make out and follow.

He stopped walking, paused in front of a lake deeper than our past. He turned to look at me. The wind picked up and pushed back his wild black curls, highlighting his high cheek bones. I watched him in awe. He took a small, silent step into the lake and the water shifted slightly, rippling around his foot. I began to take a step and he held out his hand for me to wait, and so I did.

He walked deeper into the water and with each step he took his voice grew louder, clearer, until I was completely lost in his words, in his story. He lingered in the black water and I listened to everything he had to say, to his riveting, painful, yet beautiful story. I felt the fire in his heart.

The magic happened.

Sometimes life gives us too many doors to open, close, and keep shut that we forget to listen to that soft knock, trying to call to us…

When I write I feel like I can make the impossible happen. That night Drake made me feel as if I could walk in the sky.

Perhaps it was better that I didn’t know. Not knowing meant I could hope, and hoping made it easier to breathe-- Drake

Update

2010-12-18T22:01:00.000-08:00

Hey Everybody!

I know I have been kind of absent and I blame that on school, but on the bright side I Aced both my Creative Writing Three class and my AP World Literature class!!!! And.... I officially have my Associates Degree in English Literature! I am so relieved and happy that school is over and that I have a two week break. I have been working on another short story for a competition so I have my fingers crossed for that.

You know, time races by us so quickly that sometimes we don't even notice who and what passes us by. It seems like yesterday I was still in High School eating in the cafeteria and now I am heading towards getting my BA degree. It is incredible how the years pass, just like the wind; you can feel them passing at moments but you can't see them.

How is everyone else? How was everyone's NanoWrimo time?

NanoWrimo.

2010-11-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

November 1st is finally here--the crazed writing oblivion is wide awake and really wants its coffee!

Good luck to everyone taking on Nano!!!! Let's support each other!

User name: firenight1

Who is tackling Nano this year?

"Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some under-culture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals." - Don Delillo

Angel Dust

2010-10-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile, but everything has just been crazy in my little side of the world!

First, some super exciting news: my short story, Angel Dust, won first place for best fiction in the FCCPA Awards!!! The FCCPA Awards is basically a Florida State Community College Writing and Arts competition.

Angel Dust is a short story based on my novel Bloodstone. Drake, the narrator and main character of Bloodstone is in this story. Death, tragedy, love, and choices play a big part in my writing, so it comes to no surprise that Angel Dust is filled with all of these elements.

Also, I have been editing Silver Touch, and planning on re-writing Bloodstone this upcoming November for NanoWrimo, so I have been writing notes and outlining.

I think I have re-written Bloodstone about three or four times, but it still just doesn't feel right. I have set it aside since last Nano, and hopefully fresh eyes will catch small glints, plot holes, and flat dialogue.

Oh! And I am currently reading Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick and it is incredible!!! Just as good, if not better than Hush, Hush! So be sure to pick it up!

I know this post was short, but I have another short-story due tomorrow for class, so that calls for my attention. I'll try to post soon, though!!!

P.S- I haven't forgotten that I promised I would post pictures of my story board for both Silver Touch and Bloodstone! Soon!

Hope all is well in the writing world for all of you bloggers! Fill me in on all the exciting news! Oh, and who's participating in Nano this time around?

The waves broke out into a fury, galloping toward the shore, trying to reach the clearing, but all was gone. -Angel Dust

SPEAK (a voice).

2010-09-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

SPEAK changed my life. It saved me. After SPEAK I felt as if I could actually breathe...live. I don't support or believe in banning books. NO MATTER WHAT THEY CONTAIN. Because everyone is different. Everyone has different problems. Everyone needs an outlet. Some of these books are a voice for those who don't have one. These books, especially SPEAK, help these teens find themselves, help them know they are not alone.

I know teens who have been raped and abused. I know them personally and their story. I have been hurt in ways no girl should ever be hurt. That's why the discussion that this book is disgusting, pornographic... makes me sick.

Me, these teens, my friends, all of us have been forced to live with a horrific memory, something that will NEVER leave their minds. They deserve an outlet, they deserve for people to see that the world isn't perfect, isn't as heavenly as we would all like it to be.

They DON'T deserve to be censored, to be shut up, and by who? Another human being who is no better than any of us, any of them. Because these children and teens are not aliens. They are NORMAL human beings.

Banning books such as SPEAK only sends the message that these children and teens are not worthy to be heard, to be noticed. That whatever has happened to them should be kept' a secret, that they may never be able to live a healthy life again because if they reveal what happened to them society will shun them, call them disgusting and pornographic.

No. No. No. I'm not going to sit here and say NOTHING. No. We have to be their voice. We have to show everyone that the world and it's people are NOT perfect, but far from. Evil happens. Betrayal happens. Home is sometimes no longer safe, neither is school. This is something that NEEDS to be heard, not ignored. Because I am sick of the people who think the world is a bucket full of sunshine, that what they hear on the news can NEVER really happen.

NEWS FLASH: it can.

Children and teens are abused and neglected every single day. We can't ignore this fact, because if we do we are just as wrong as the ones who are trying to silence their voices, ban the novels that SPEAK out.

Blessings to all of you bloggers who have spoken out, who are helping fight this, who are being a voice.

Strength and love to those who have been hurt beyond reasoning. Please, have faith that you will be able to be happy again, to feel like you can breathe again.

You are not alone. You are understood. You are worthy.

Bloggers, this is my opinion. How do you feel?

"I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul? An ax I can take to my memories or fears?"

— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

"You have to know what you stand for, not just what you stand against. "

— Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak)

*Te read more about this issue click HERE, written by Laurie Halse Anderson herself.*

Pure Magic.

2010-09-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that invigorating feeling while writing a certain scene? A rush, a flash binding you to the impossible, almost as if you are being pulled away from your body and entering your story?

Have you ever entered that magical realm where you can see your characters so clearly you can practically feel them?

I have. I always feel a connection with Drake (my MC) when I write, when I day dream of my story, but earlier today…it was…unreal. I was completely lost in this scene. My fingers couldn’t move fast enough to keep up with his voice; everything around me suddenly didn’t exist.

It felt like I was there with him, seeing what he saw, feeling what he felt. Everything was in such detail; Drake’s scent, the wet grass, the still air, and his emotions so powerful, so intense. I watched his hands move, listened to his voice, tried to capture everything in all its wonder.

I felt the scene coming to an end and I held on to his voice for as long as I could. I wanted to stay there forever.

The center of my chest tightened as soon as I finished. I didn’t re-read it just yet, didn’t spell check.

I just sat there with my eyes closed, soaking in everything I just felt and saw—the depth and weight in Drake’s eyes clung to me, stayed with me, effected me so much I had to share it with all of you.

Writing is such an escape for me, but when moments like this happen, where I am lost in his world, flying high on my imaginary wind, I am at a loss for words.

Times like this remind me why I love to write. Why Drake means so much to me. I can’t be myself and not write. It has become a part of me and so has he.

So no matter how hard the future for a writer may be, no matter how many rejection letters I may receive, or however many nights I stay up wide awake trying to perfect a scene, I’ll never stop writing.

How about you bloggers? Have you ever had a moment while writing that felt incredibly surreal? Where you felt so immensely close to your characters?

I don't take breathing for granted. I suck in every bit of air that I can because I know what it's like to be trapped, to have everything be given to you and then taken away. So come on, take a deep breath. Breathe with me. - Drake

Update.

2010-09-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks have been a rejuvenating rollercoaster ride. I was able to visit the University of Florida up in Gainesville—a university I hope to attend. I loved Gainesville. The difference from Miami and there is clear. It’s amazing how two places in the exact same state can differ on so many levels. Miami is a fanatical city, where everything is open late and people tend to stay up much later and the traffic is, well, not one of our better qualities.

Gainesville was silent and peaceful with a continuing mist that lasted throughout the entire night, rising up from the ground like steam out of a hot bath. It is a swamp land drenched in mystery with its haunting bleak marsh lands and hunching cluster of trees. We have trees in Miami, but not like this. Everywhere I looked the land was covered in southern magnolias, winged elms, bluff oaks, and live oaks. It was fascinating on every level.

Also, I started school again, my last semester at my community college which I have grown to cherish. To say I love my classes is an understatement. I’m taking Creative Writing III and a tough advanced literature course, but I wouldn’t change one thing about them. And our school magazine will be launching its newest edition very soon which I am ecstatic about!

Oh! And I promised I would be sharing my editing stages for Silver Touch, and I will as soon as I retrieve my camera back from my aunt’s house. So stay tuned.

I know I may be a bit late, but I just started reading the Hunger Games Series. I know…I know…

There is one word for this series, and that word is wow….

Collins is fabulous, her writing supreme! I can’t believe it took me this long to start reading this series!!

So far, I’m team Gale.

What about you bloggers? Anything new and exciting lately?

Remember, there's a bit of magic everywhere.

I finished!!!!!!

2010-08-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post may contain an enormous amount of exclamation marks and squealing!!!!

I finished Silver Touch (my current WIP, to read more about Silver Touch just click here!!) tonight, well more like this morning at exactly 5:52 am!!!!

Total word count: 50,500

Wait, I have to say it one more time!!!

I finished Silver Touch!!!!

And I love it!!! I'm seriously in love with this story!!!

I can't wait to dive in and begin editing. I'm insanely excited about tying up the loose ends and perfecting this story the best I can.

It was worth staying up all night, listening to Life House over and over, and drowning myself in coffee.

Due to lack of sleep I will cut this post short. But soon I will be posting pictures of my story board and I have an award to pass along!! So stay tuned!!

I'll leave you with a quote from Silver Touch.

I have never felt more alive in my entire life. And it is all because of her; she found me, dug deep within me, and made me not want to breathe my last breath. She made me realize I didn’t want to drown in the everlasting blackness…

She brought me back to life.

What would you do?

2010-07-26T00:58:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was on the phone with a family member, catching up and sharing our latest hearsays, when they asked me something, "So, I hear you want to be a writer?"

The words caught me off guard, not exactly because of what was said, but more like how it was said. The tone was skeptical, bordering the line of judgmental.

I sucked in a gulp of air, cleared my throat, and answered, "Yes, yes I want to write."

"Oh, well, yeah," was the response on the other side of the phone. I furrowed my brows, bit my lip, and waited—just waited.

"Being a writer is, well, pretty hard, do you really think you can actually get published?"

I stiffened at the sound of the words, the shock clearly written on my creased forehead. I didn't know what to say. Do I answer? Do I hang up?

And then my hands touched the glass vial necklace around my neck—the one that holds a special message inside, a message between Drake—My MC—and I. My fingers curved around the silky glass, my nails clashing against the edges desperately.

Its cold touch quieted my breathing. My mind began to wander.

My eyes became distant as I lost myself in my thoughts.

"I'll call you back," I barely whispered and I hung up.

Like an earthquake, a scene shook me...

The road ahead was dim, vacant, and protracted—I couldn’t see where it ended, if it ended. Colossal trees crouched over the road, their branches covered with a full skirt of leaves, deep green dripping down from them. Tiny, barely noticeable stars were plotted in the sky by an unseen hand so stunning. I gaped in utter awe.

Distant, steady footsteps trailed closer to me, their soft echo spilling peace all over me. I closed my eyes and listened to those footsteps, memorized how many steps were taken, the seconds in between each step.

And then I opened my eyes. Drake’s face was so close; his full lashes curled over his heavy lids, his mouth slightly open, softening his strong jaw. I stared at him, watched him watch me with careful attention.

He held out his hand to me, the side of his lip rising, making his high cheek bones reach his eyes. I put my hand in his hand.

His voice was clear, melodic. I listened to his words; listened to each sentence. The rise and fall in the sound of his voice controlled the rhythm of my heart. His hand tightened around mine, and he whispered the exact same message from the glass vial—my promise to him; his promise to me; our promise.

Together we stared down the long road, side by side, under the crouching branches and the plotted stars.

“The road is long, we don’t know where it ends, but I’ll walk with you, if you walk with me,” he said and took that very first step into the unknown.

I eyed the phone then, and without thinking I called my family member back.

"Hello?" Their voice sounded unsure.

"I don't know," I said, straightening my shoulders.

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know if I will ever be published, but I do know this," I sucked in a deep breath, my hand still around the necklace.

"I want to write, and yes, I will write."

I hung up again. Everything went strangely still, the moment like a vigilant light inside of me. I knew then, more than ever, how much I wanted to write.

How much Drake meant to me.

And no one could ever take this away from me, take him away.

People can put us down, question what we love, but they can't strip us of that love.

That is ours to keep forever.

Bloggers, Has anyone ever doubted you? How did you handle it? What did you say?

Maybe someday I will have it all figured out, know which road to take, but until then, I have to keep breathing, continue on living- Drake

Characters

2010-07-21T22:35:00.001-07:00

Have you ever second guessed yourself and what you write?

Have you ever heard that tiny, insanely loud voice in the back of your head screaming, “No one will like this, what are you thinking?”

Yeah, I think we've all been there.

It's not always easy to ignore that voice. It can actually be pretty difficult at times.

Sometimes we give in to that voice, become easy victims and crumble under its weight.

I've learned that you can pull out your hair, rewrite the same scene a million times in one night, and still when we doubt our characters, when we know this is what they would say or do and still we change our story, we change them because we think others won't love them, well, it just won't work.

In the end, if you force your characters to do something they wouldn't do, or make them say something you know they would never say, your story will never feel right.

It will never be true to yourself, or to your characters.

We have to write for ourselves. What makes our heart race and our stomach flip is what we should pour out into our story. The characters we know and love should be the burning flame in our desire to write.

We can't write for others.

Writing is about opening yourself up to the impossible, and believing that it is possible. Escaping this world and entering theirs—understanding them and breathing the same air that they do is where the love and devotion really is.

To me, that's the way to write; loosing myself in their magical realm and not questioning their emotions or actions, but trusting them, embracing the tale they’re sharing with me.

After all, our characters know their own story better than we do. We just have to listen.

If we just open ourselves up to them and listen, I bet they will amaze us in ways we never even thought were possible, they'll show us that nothing is impossible.

What about you bloggers? Do you ever second your characters? Your story?

Years have passed, time has flown by, yet we have remained the same, and I had a feeling we would be like this forever; lost in a love that was unfathomable to the rest of the world- Drake

Past.

2010-07-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

A few months filled with deceiving shadows tip toed into my life unexpectedly. They came with no warning, no flashing lights or loud blaring horns, but in a deadly silence that engulfed me, dragged me down to the bottom of an endless pit. It was a Monday night, around 11:30 pm.

The air outside was humid and musky; the now familiar clouds weren't as silver as they used to be, back when all was good and bright. The night was darker; the deceiving shadows were everywhere, bouncing around my life with no care for how they affected me.

The solid curtain of murky gray clouds covered the moon and its purity. I stared out my bedroom window, sitting down on the floor with my laptop on my lap. The white blank page in front of me was the brightest thing in my life at the moment. I stared at it, trying to soak up some of its light.

A series of emotions, enveloped with confusion, swam in the pit of my chest, stabbing certain areas harder than others. My heart was battered, inflamed from taking the raw stabs, but the pain wasn't as bad anymore. Instead, there was a cold numbness, freezing me whole.

The brilliant white page shined brighter, calling me to it in the haze of my dark room, in the mist of the black night with its missing moon. I closed my eyes and prayed for the numbness to leave just for a little while, for my heart to open itself up like it used to. I wanted to feel great, big, crashing emotions—good or bad, it didn’t matter. I just wanted to feel something.

I opened my eyes and like instinct, Drake's—my MC—voice soothed its way through my mind and took refuge in my heart. I felt him inside of me, his words melting away the ice, tearing down the numbness. I typed those first, comforting words, my only company his engaging character. Word after word, his voice became louder, the images clearer, the story so real I was taken from this world—abducted to a place so foreign, yet, vastly familiar.

I was at peace.

My fingers spread and dashed across the keyboard with such velocity and freedom. The only soundtrack was his voice, the only picture in my mind was his pale silver eyes—the same eyes that never ceased to guide me through the storm. I could almost touch his large worn hands—the same hands that never stopped fighting for me, mending me. The soft wrinkles over his forehead were a sure sign of his worries for me. His selfless and gallant spirit brought on a familiar smile.

I wrote for hours that night. Right there on the floor next to my bedroom window, under the blackest night I’d had in a very long time. But it was there, in the maze of perplexing, throbbing shadows, that his silver eyes replaced the murky gray clouds and found the moon—the light of my moon.

The light was clearly there.

Hope had been found in my prayer and in his voice.

Shadows raced in every direction. She sat on the sand, watching the twirling waves in the black lake. It was there, in between her and the dancing water that the light hid- Drake

Editing.

2010-07-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

First, I must say thank you for all of your support and for welcoming me back with open arms.
It means more than you know.

Tonight, I was working on Silver Touch. I happily lost myself in the string of music and in my characters world. There is nothing like the feeling of writing that first draft. It’s electrifying.

Before I begin a new story I pretty much have an idea of where I'm going and where I'll end up. But the middle is always like a crystal fog, shimmering with possibilities, yet veiled. It's breathtaking, realizing what your characters will say or do, taking a walk in their shoes and visiting their world.

Now editing, Oh, editing, editing…

I like editing. Working to make my story better and polishing up the loose ends is rewarding, but there's something about editing that can, well—and I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way-- wreck my brain!

Editing is tedious hard work that can cause major migraines. But is it necessary?

Of course.

When I edit I usually tackle one chapter at a time, jot down each scene and major turning point on my story board, then make sure that each scene is there for a reason, that each scene moves the story along.

My least favorite part about editing is not the constant re-reading, or note jotting, it's cutting out scenes that I love. The delete and backspace buttons are well known enemies of mine. We don't get along much. I guess that's my weakness as a writer, cutting out pieces that I hold dear to me.

It isn't easy to be rid of those perhaps pointless, yet, still enthralling, beautiful scenes.

Why?
Because they're close to my heart, but inevitably, some scenes must go.

Sad, but true.
In the end, I know it will only make my story stronger, ready to handle a good fight out there in the publishing world.

What about you bloggers? What's the hardest part about editing for you?

Never turn your back on hardships, fight, giving up shouldn't be an option.

Just remember, the toughest things in life can turn into the most beautiful one day.

Dear Bloggers

2010-07-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

I'm back with a whole new blog.

Me being back brings a smile to my face, allows huge, warming sparks to explode within me! Honestly, I missed blogging, writing and reading comments. But mostly, I missed all of your support.

There is a reason why I stopped blogging, and I wish I could say that it was a happy time, my time away, but alas, it was not.

A take on the softer reasons: school was overbearing. Being Editor in Chief of the magazine, five full blown out classes, and the stress of writing competitions (my poem won first place for Women's History Month. I wrote about Eve), was a handful.

I had fun in school, loved being a part of the magazine but some

times, it was all just a bit overwhelming.

The tougher, touchier reasons: somethings/ people in my life sadly had to go... and I don't mean there was a death, but a relationship just had to go. I was struggling with this decision for an incredibly long time, always fighting with my wiser inner self, giving excuses.

Then, when I had to make a choice whether to stay in Miami or go to a really great school in Gainesville( which meant leaving my family, some friends, and my life here) I was emotionally overwhelmed in my head and heart.

But in time I faced these decisions head on.

I chose to see myself out of the relationship and to leave for school after Christmas.

Tough choices, but in my heart I know I chose the right path. There are no detours, no stops in my coming future and that is okay. because these choices will only help me to grow and to become the person I am meant to be.

These are probably the biggest reasons why I just backed away. I needed time for me.

Last week I emailed Kelly Lyman, an old friend from blogger and asked her for advice on everything that was going on. Graciously, and kindly, she delivered, and boy, did she deliver!

Kelly gave me the best advice I had yet to receive from anyone these past few months. I am grateful. I have made the changes that needed to be made in my life, and I am ready to bulldoze forward with all the strength that I have.

Thank you again, Kelly.

Good news: I never stopped writing. I actually wrote more, opened new doors and tackled new discoveries. Drake is still vividly alive in my mind, and his voice has never been clearer.

Enough about me, how is everyone? How is everyone's writing? I can only hope that your writing has evolved and grown into tension filled, heart spiraling pieces!!!

Breathe. Pray. Believe.

Trust me, it works.